Memory Monday: The Tanned Turkey

This Memory Monday post is about the time my brother made the Tanned Turkey. I don't remember if it was Thanksgiving or not, but since today is Thanksgiving and I'm making a turkey, I thought this Memory Monday was appropriate.


I remember David asking Mom if he could make a turkey for dinner. He was about ten years old at the time. My mom wanting to encourage her son in his cooking endeavours and perhaps provide herself with a break, gave her permission.
And so, away David went into the kitchen - chopping, measuring, and mixing ingredients for the dressing and turkey. With a bit of assistance from Mom, David stuffed the turkey and popped into the oven. He was quite satisfied with himself for doing most of the work himself.
As the turkey cooked, we could smell the delicious aroma wafting from the kitchen. I could hardly wait until it was time to eat. I love turkey!
As the turkey continued to cook, Dave would dutifully go to the kitchen, open the oven door, and baste the turkey. When asked how things were coming along, he replied "Great".
Finally, Mom announced that the turkey was done. We all trooped into the kitchen. As Mom lifted the roasting pan from the oven onto the counter, we noticed that the turkey had an unusual orange colour to it. Hmmm...interesting. The turkey looked like it had one too many tanning pills.  It glowed with that  orange-y, fake tan colour.  Turkey isn't supposed to look like that, I thought to myself.  "Ewww, it's orange!" I said, pointing out the obvious.
Mom asked David what ingredients he had put into his stuffing. "Some of this, some of that and some Lawry's® seasoning salt", he said. Now, if you know anything about this brand of seasoning salt, you will recall its bright orange colour.
"Oh," said Mom, a little perplexed. "Well, let's try some turkey before you make the gravy."
David enthusiastically answered "Okay!"  I was a bit more reluctant.  I wasn't sure I wanted to taste the day-glo orang. Mom carved off a couple of slices and handed us each a piece of turkey. It tasted...horrible! Yuck! It was so salty!
Mom who was trying not to crush her son's feelings, politely asked David how much of the seasoning salt had he put into the dressing. "I think it called for half a cup", he replied.
"Half a cup!" Mom exclaimed. "Oh, David, I think you mis-read the ingredients. I'm sure it only called for half a teaspoon."
Poor David! He had tried so hard. However, that amount of seasoning salt had more than preserved that bird; it was inedible.


And so as I celebrate another Canadian Thanksgiving, I give thanks for my brother, and the memory of the Tanned Turkey.





Copyright 2010 by Kathryn Lake.